Saturday, May 26, 2012

DEALING WITH DEATH AND TRAGEDY

The producer of the opera company's life partner of 49 years, died last September.
The remaining producer is a tiny little man of 75 now living in that huge house
they shared and trying to run an opera company.  This week from hell and  having
to cancel has been hard on us all.  He wrote me earlier about how he was and this
is my reply to him, and I think you will appreciate it......(I had asked the choreographer
to go over and check on him yesterday and she and her husband took him out to dinner, so nice.  He told me he had spent the day putting away his lost partner's clothes.)

Ben,
I'm glad Boleyn did that.  I asked her to look after you, dear.  Mainly because I can't just ride over and walk in!  Ha!  I need stretcher bearers.

I have dealt many times in my 68 years with packing up and/or disposing of a loved-one's things.  It is a hideous task to go through papers, photos and diaries, etc.   I remember so well when Mama died, I was 14 and I tried to give her clothes away and nobody would take them because they didn't want to be reminded of her. 

I have lost several very close friends in the last month, and every time I open my iPhone to look for a number, their numbers come up and I can't bring myself to delete them - it's like as long as they are in my phone book, they are alive.  Isn't that silly?  NO. I couldn't look at Mama after the funeral home got her ready because I knew I would never remember anything but her lying in a coffin in the dress I had given her the last Mother's Day she was alive.

They say as long as we remember someone, they are not dead.  I hope that's true.  I don't know how you put one foot in front of the other and go through a day, I just don't.  But whatever I can do to help you, you know I will do, sweetheart.  Always.

Much love,

Richard

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