Thursday, November 26, 2009

THANKSGIVING IN BAGDAD


This is from my friend Maj. Ken Knickerson, stationed in Bagdad on this day.
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ALCON,

Happy Thanksgiving! Today marks the festival of commemorating Americans sharing a big meal with Native Americans before we killed them and took all their land. To this day, Native Americans across the country get very nervous when someone says to them: “You have a very nice yard.” That might explain the excess cars I’ve seen on a few reservations, but I’m just guessing.

In the spirit of commemoration there is nothing more fitting, of course, than gathering together with Family and arguing in the dysfunctional ways only families can. Don’t you just love the Holidays!

Of course tomorrow will be the biggest shopping day of the year which is sure to disappoint every retailer in the country with dreams of pulling out of the recession. I am sure to spend at least 15 minutes shopping on Amazon as the war zone PX has little to offer in Holiday gifts. I was thinking of buying 3 cases of Pringles from the PX and sending them out to all my friends and family but I changed my mind.

For now, I am only wondering who will visit the war-zone and serve food at a highly publicized chow hall event. The Army doesn’t like to call them “chow halls” anymore. We are supposed to call them Dining Facilities as if by changing the name, the food would magically become tastier. I suppose there might be something to that, after all some guy in the states figured out how to sell overpriced, crappy tasting chicken wings and burgers at a place called “HOOTERS.” But for us in the Baghdad, I expect a Federal Politician to be serving food for about 30 minutes, after that maybe a general might serve pecan pie. Whenever the President comes, the Secret Service strip searches everyone before you go into the chow hall. You know they get suspicious after you get in line 5 or 6 times.

The University of Notre Dame was founded this day in 1842. I can’t seem to figure out why a University would open on Thanksgiving day. What? Were these guys so unpopular the only way to get people to show up was to offer up free food on Thanksgiving? Come to Notre Dame where the first semester only lasts 4 weeks! Then you take Christmas Break! Well, persistence paid off for them. Now students spend $37,970 per year of their parent’s credit to wear the title of Notre Dame Alumni. But the students have to stay a little longer than 4 weeks and they don’t get any free food.

Happy Thanksgiving! I should be in the States for the next one. I’ll cross my fingers.

2 comments:

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